Immagini - (2012)

[Sabbb]

[Ale2695]

[Ale2695]

[Andy94]

Ehehe...
Se ti racconto questa non ci crederai... Una tizia con un treno (macchina grande, ndr) è entrata dritta e l'ha praticamente accartocciata. Il tutto davanti ai miei occhi.

[x-free]

Ehehe...
Una tizia

E poi ci accusano di maschilismo

[Andy94]

E poi ci accusano di maschilismo

Che ci posso fare?


Poteva essere benissimo anche un uomo, non è il primo che vedo che non è capace a guidare.

[Berga95]

Posso dire che era interessante?

[M@ttia]

A parte che non ho mai pensato che la 3G fosse veloce, ma quello che più mi interessa è come funziona il file-sharing...

[Berga95]

Qua dicono 1500 TB...
Leggete i primi post, se siete abbastanza nerd potete comprenderli

[farbix89]

Dipende da che protocollo usa: PATA,SATA,SATAII,SATAIII,Thunderbolt

Che battutaccia

[M@ttia]

Qua dicono 1500 TB...

Ma i commenti sono strepitosi!!!
Li copio qua sotto casomai il sito andasse offline, per le generazioni future

A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB (self.reddit.com)

So, that's an enormous amount of packet loss then.
Or, a multiple redundant means to make sure there is at least one viable connection reaching the I/O port [although it's more an I than an O port].

[–]pyry 135
Sounds like human reproduction is all UDP.
genitore
[–]MacEWork 132
Only for men. Seems that women want to be connection-aware.
genitore
[–]santa4nt 40
You guys are such nerds. <3.
genitore
[–]manateetanam 63
Output has a nine month latency.
genitore
[–][deleted] 42
You try pinging that host!
genitore
[–][deleted] 66
Host expecting. Abort/Ignore/Continue?
genitore
[–]TheDito 3
Dirty boy. Dirty, dirty, dirty!
genitore

[–]m-p-3 21
Or a massive DDoS on a single peer.
genitore
[–]TurboNerd 3
Bukake?
genitore
[–][deleted] 72 *
It's not packet loss. A large majority of it is received but most of it gets piped to /dev/null
genitore
[–]bbrizzi 20
Nah, it's put into a buffer and eventually flushed.
genitore
[–]nelsonslament 2
Only when you masturbate
genitore
[–][deleted] 13
Masturbation is connecting to the wrong host.
genitore
[–]nelsonslament 24
Perhaps more of a loopback device...
genitore
[–]nemohearttaco 2
Exactly.
genitore
[–]Yabbaba 18
No, that's anal sex.
genitore
[–]fodu 12
no, anal is ssl
genitore
[–]powerdeamon 5
I made a data deposit to a SSL port last night then?
genitore
[–]MacEWork 12
Virtual machines don't count.
genitore
[–]polite_tourette 3
So a blow job is what? Port Scan?
genitore
[–]fodu 8
ftp
genitore
[–]norm_ 3
sftp
ftp is putting your finger up the ass
genitore

[–]soundacious 13
For when I'm putting on my I/O face.
genitore
[–]sh1znack 3
I'll show YOU deep packet inspection.
genitore

[–]pweet 970
Does that mean my Fleshlight qualifies as a backup device?

[–]yogidude 256
This means I have a 2 testicle RAID array
genitore
[–][deleted] 77
RAID Level 1 technically.
genitore
[–]junkytrunks 262
No. RAID 1 suggests a full mirror.
Each testicle holds billions of unique sperm. There is no scientific suggestion that each sperm has its mirror image clone in the other testicle.
Therefore, his nuts are configured in a JBOT configuration....Just a Bunch Of Testicles.
genitore
[–][deleted] 39
I stand corrected.
genitore
[–]masta 17
Don't, the OP is trying to say "concatenated stripe" which is non-blocking raid-0. Even that is wrong, as you likely use both balls at once to ejac, instead of emptying one then draining the other. It's more resembling straight raid-0, though one testicle is hanging lower than the other.
genitore
[–]jgclark 14
But if one fails, the other is still usable. It's definitely not RAID 0; it must be JBOT.
genitore
[–]masta 3
Still wrong. I suppose both notions are wrong, but in my opinion the concatenated stripe is most wrong as you don't pump from one nut then empty the later in series.
Perhaps is a combination, where each testicle is itself an array of sperm producing cells, that runs in parallel to the other testicle. That would be Raid-10 a mirror of (two) stripes.
genitore

[–]elus 3
raid-0o
genitore
[–]dredeyedick 2
The difference in suspension, one lower than the other, affects latency during transfer, one might surmise.
genitore

[–]Wo1ke 4
However, given that:
(a) all sperm form from the same base DNA
(b) certain mutations are more likely than others
it can be assumed that most sperm does, in fact, have a replica. Only rare mutations wont.
genitore
[–]nikniuq 3
I would say it is random chunk based redundancy. Compressing your ejaculated data stream would reduce it to roughly double a single sperm.
So it is kind of a massively redundant data transfer system rather than storage system. Unfortunately it appears to be collision detection not correction based, and even the there are serious flaws.
Technically the spermocytes have the full chromosomal copies, arranged in a massive raid-1 arrangement of permanent storage. The spermatids are more akin to a transfer protocol.
genitore
[–]hartmoney 6
I had to do it:
http://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments ... in_a_jbot/
I stopped and thought quick....JBOT....wtf is that? Ohhhh.....hahahahaha.
genitore

(7 risposte)
[–]somaddict 25
I was running mine on RAID 0 for better performance but I busted a nut and now I ejaculate corrupted semen.
genitore
[–]Lut3s 16
Protip: Don't have kids.
genitore
[–]rox0r 2
bit rot
genitore
(4 risposte)
[–]wruffx 8
RAID 0 I'm guessing?
genitore
[–]jimktrains 4
More like a complex raid 1
genitore
[–]specialk16 4 *
The JBOD guy got it right. A RAID 0 would imply that the sperm on one testicle complements the sperm on the other testicle (and you could have a working set with a missing testicle, so it's definitely not a raid 0). A RAID 1 would imply that both testicles are exactly the same.
or something.
genitore
(4 risposte)


[–]oreng 223
only for tax purposes.
genitore
(4 risposte)
[–][deleted] 57
Any neckbeard will tell you that it's not a real backup until it's offsite.
genitore
[–][deleted] 15
I think the term "neckbeard" just changed the way I look at the IT guys at work forever.
genitore
[–]divv 2
Damn...now I feel obligated to shave.
genitore

[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]ZombieDracula 9
Who says sex can't be free?
genitore
[–]lwrun 34
Her pimp.
genitore
[–]moddestmouse 9
newsletter. subscribe. etc.
genitore
[–]Shroomian 19
i blue screened during my transfer :(
genitore
[–][deleted] 18
Yes, but why backup so many copies?
genitore
[–]ProximaC 24
Jesus Saves.
genitore
[–]Carpeabnocto 41
Catholic girls swallow.
genitore
[–]junkytrunks 4
Old myth. I've yet to meet one that does.
genitore
[–]Offdensen 8
Your mother.
genitore
[–]junkytrunks 11
I knew I should not have signed in today.
genitore
[–]award6186 2
...punished
genitore
[–][deleted] 2
Not trying hard enough. 15 hail Mary's for you.
genitore
[–]Ti7aNiC 7
Passes to Moses, SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
genitore
[–]OmegaBlue 3
Buddha Does Incremental Backups
genitore
[–]HenkPoley 2
Jesus also makes nightly offsite backups.
genitore
[–]bib4tuna 8
Sweet sweet redundancy
genitore
[–]glittalogik 3
Kinda salty redundancy.
genitore
[–]Fyzzip 2
The data does have a chance to replicate.
genitore
[–]bobsil1 4
Yes, but the data is highly compressible so it uses the UNZIP format.
genitore
[–]the_pub_mix 2
More like a "flash" drive. Am I right? Hoho...
genitore

(16 risposte)
[–]mineo1 149
Not really, since there's a data loss rate of 99.99999% to 100%, depending on the circumstances

[–]Bundabar 429
It still works better than AT&T.
genitore
[–]Charleym 389
There's a fap for that.
genitore
[–]arbiterxero 27
Well played.
genitore
[–]muddyalcapones 51
Well what do you expect? There's never good reception when you're going through a tunnel!
genitore
[–]rburkwood 9
Zing!
genitore
[–]reddit_user13 5
Can you hear me now???
genitore


[–][deleted] 35
Well if by "lost" you mean "now stored in a sock" then you, sir, are correct.
genitore
[–]dragonl41 20
so that what the s.o.c.k protocol was about.
genitore
[–][deleted] 7
Bill Gates: "I'm going to call this one winsock"
genitore


[–]Mentari 225
Lies. That much data can't come off a 3.5" floppy.

[–]funny_username 4
cntrl F - 'floppy disk' .. d'oh. you beat me to it. all that info stored on one floppy di...
genitore
[–]dustimus11 2
ZAM!
genitore

[–]Moeri 607 *
Ejaculations last about 5 seconds, so that means I can upload at 332TB/s. I am so awesome.

[–][deleted] 832
Please don't seed!
genitore
[–]stevenmc 280
It comes from a solid-state device!
genitore
[–]80hd 299
Connection uptime- 2 minutes, 4 seconds
genitore
[–]stevenmc 220
It supports hot plugging too.
genitore
[–]feng_huang 139
Not to mention hot-swapping and daisy-chaining...
genitore
[–][deleted] 186
You better have some virus protection.
genitore
[–]feng_huang 122
But some people dislike having their data filtered.
genitore
[–]bloodmoney 146
especially by a Trojan
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
continua questa discussione
[–]nimbus29 14
Gotta watch your backdoor too.
genitore
[–]audiotechnica 41
trojans impede the flow of data
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]robertrobot 30
Hahah this is amazing. This is what happens when the subject is technology and sex.
genitore
[–]AttackingHobo 14
I always though people were joking about spitting coffee when reading something funny. I just came dangerously close.
genitore
[–]deadapostle 93
PING!
genitore

[–]in53cto 36
Plug n' Play
genitore

[–]talontario 25
you need to sort out your latency… Mine is almost below the 1 000 ms mark.
genitore
[–]boss1000 18
Oh how I love threads about sex on Reddit.
genitore
[–]joebleaux 6
I much prefer these double entendres to the usual pun threads. I hate the pun threads.
genitore

(3 risposte)
[–]wyfflemunky 226
Unfortunately, the packet loss rate is very near 100% and it takes approximately nine months to decrypt the data into something useful.
genitore
[–]pavel_lishin 246
I'd argue that it takes 9 months to decrypt the data into something functional; it takes another few years before you can truly call it "useful".
Unless you're really really hungry.
genitore
[–]HungLikeJesus 26
"I ate the baby
that was in the icebox
and which you were probably saving for breakfast
forgive me
it was so delicious
and so cold."
genitore
[–]FurtherToFly 4
Another few years? Many, many, many years.
genitore
[–]ProximaC 2
Are you talking about making salsa out of the afterbirth?
genitore
[–]pavel_lishin 14
Sure. Babymeat just doesn't have enough kick without salsa.
genitore
[–]IEatDucks 53
Yeah, but it takes five minutes for the handshaking protocol to complete...
genitore
[–]FANGO 18
Yeah, instead of moaning I like to shout out "eeeeek....KABONG KABONG.....pssssshshhhhhh....PPPSSSSSHHHHHHHH...."
genitore
[–]samfreez 4
EEEEeeeeeee - rrrrRRrrrr - EEEE - rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr EEE - EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee shhhhhhhh..... Doo-doong!
You've got Mail!
genitore
[–]treydee21 6
And a ten-minute recovery time after upload is finished.
genitore
[–]boulax 75
"Buffering"
genitore
[–][deleted] 54
Every day I am buffering. Every day I am buffering, buffering..
genitore
[–]shockermcgavin 24
buffer buffer REAL HARD
genitore
[–][deleted] 55
What are you, Real Player?
genitore
[–]Real_Player 4
Sorry I'm la[Buffering...]
genitore
[–]Killfuck_Soulshitter 3
There are some who would call him that.
genitore
[–]ratbastid 7
Hate the Real Game, not the Real Player.
genitore

[–]backelie 11
Buffer? I hardly know her!
genitore
[–]Higgs_Particle 3
Buff-er? Nearly killed her.
genitore
[–]agbullet 71
BROADBAND IN MY PANTS
genitore
[–]btarded 13
It's more likely than you think.
genitore
[–]glittalogik 4
Next on Sick Sad World.
genitore
[–]gosu 2
More likely a thin-net!
genitore
[–]norinme 40
That's 25617 times the speed of an OC-256 optical carrier. We should swap oceanic cables with giant urethras.
genitore
[–]300zxkyle 54
That's a lot of laying pipe.
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore

[–]bluishness 21
No. We. Should. Not.
genitore

[–]kewidogg 39
How many peers, on average, would you say you upload to?
genitore
[–][deleted] 105
You'd probably get more peers with a fatter pipe.
genitore


[–]asbestos999 5
Yes, but surely the daily rate is much lower. Say 5 x 1.5 PB max, over 24 hours, so that's... 0.86TB/s?
The burst rate is pretty high, though, I'll grant you that. About 6"?
genitore
[–]luneunion 2
Well so much for serial data transfers… massively parallel seems to be the way to go. On the other hand, at most 37.5MB actually reaches it's destination, so that's a lot of packet loss.
genitore
(34 risposte)
[–]this_time_i_mean_it 403
So does this make bukkakke a DDoS attack?

[–]pweet 94
Yes. I believe a circle jerk also qualifies.
genitore
[–]agbullet 118
high speed token ring?
genitore
[–]TheLoneHoot 79
And it means that pregnancy tests just need to read either "1" or "0".
genitore
[–]ohi- 24
boolean pregnancy tests ftw
genitore
[–]PeEll 9
But someone would end up writing it in C, and we wouldn't know if a return code of 0 was a success or failure, pregancy non-pregnancy.
genitore
[–]TheCheezCake 10
You sir, need more upvotes. :D
genitore
[–]dragonl41 16
So peter north is like WIFI? man i dont want your packets
genitore

[–]filox 18
Ew, I think you got a few TB in your left eye.
genitore
[–][deleted] 3
Maybe, but it might also make it a torrent.
genitore
[–]ThinkBeforeYouDie 74
Yeah, but it takes at least 9 months to write to disk.

[–]omicron8 73
abort, retry, fail?
genitore
[–]DCMurphy 29
Who would retry after an abort?
genitore
[–]deadapostle 60
Um, women who are finally out of college?
genitore
[–]DCMurphy 9
True. Although that might require leaving the window open for a very long time.
Maybe they should just reboot the program.
genitore
[–]AttackingHobo 4
If the first abort was due to read/write errors.
genitore
[–][deleted] 6
I knew a couple of needle junkies that kept getting pregnant for the sex then aborting at the last minute, they've done it 11 times. Most fucked up thing I have ever heard.
genitore
[–]blue_horse_shoe 2
try to ctrl+alt+del that shit.
genitore
[–]elitexero 122
I believe this makes your mother the world's largest datacenter.

(3 risposte)
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]

[–][deleted] 11
You know, it's a lot safer to store your data locally despite what the "cloud" zealots say.
genitore
[–]AttackingHobo 3
Unless you have it in the cloud for convenience and you have it locally for redundancy. Oh, we are talking about jizm sorry.
genitore
[–]eberkut 235
Obligatory:
The human genome is about 3,120,000,000 DNA base pairs long, so half of that is in each spermatozoa. That gives us 1,560,000,000 base pairs in a single sperm cell.
Each of those base pairs can be an A-T bond or a G-C bond, and can be alignes in either direction. That means there's four ways it can be aligned, and that can be represented in two bits of data:
00 = G 01 = C 10 = A 11 = T (an example)
Now, the average dude lets out between 50 and 500 million sperm with each go. Rough average saya that it'd probably be about 200 million, right? If we take all this information and combine it with the wonders of mathematics, we have (1.56 * 109) * (2.00 * 108). Do all the equational shit, and we have 6.24 * 1017 bits transmitted in a single burst.
That's 78,000 terabytes, in what amounts to half-minute-at-most event.
We could fit a digitized copy of the Library of Congress into your spooge. It'd only take about 20 terabytes.
So your dick has a higher bandwidth than any internet connection that ever existed, and is ever likely to exist anytime soon. Now, imagine a machine that used your saltshaker to surf the internet.

[–]BeliefSuspended2008 331
your dick has a higher bandwidth than any internet connection that ever existed
My dick is a series of tubes
genitore
[–][deleted] 111
This comment made me laugh so hard my Vas Deferens shed a tear.
genitore
[–]Antidote 79
That's not laughter.
genitore
[–]powerdeamon 53
That's not a tear!
genitore

[–]revho13 25
If you're happy and you know it, Cowper's glands!
genitore
[–]Iceland_jack 25
Best use of the term vas deferens in a comment.
genitore
[–][deleted] 20
There's a vas deferens between his wit and yours.
genitore
[–]OriginalStomper 27
And it's no wonder these award shows go on so long.
genitore
[–]MrDanger 8
I'd like to thank all the little people who made this possible...
genitore
[–]PhilxBefore 3
I always liked this one from a year ago.
genitore
[–]Firrox 2
Do you just like, save these comments in a bookmark folder under the words that are used?
genitore

[–]sfanetti 3
that's pee
genitore
[–]drunksquirrel 4
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
genitore
[–]mac3 5
Did you still have your dick before Al Gore came around?
genitore
[–]BeliefSuspended2008 15
Before Al invented the internet, I had no use for my dick
genitore

[–]Earendil_Star 11
higher bandwidth than any internet connection that ever existed, and is ever likely to exist anytime soon.
Famous last words of anyone who has spoken about technology in the last 40 years :-)
genitore
[–]specialk16 2 *
What is somehow manage to create a biological computer network that simulates this exact behavior? Let's call it DNA computing.
edit: oh wait
genitore
[–]gacsinger 20
I can't believe nobody has corrected you yet, but the haploid human genome is 3 billion bases long, so there's no need to halve that again to get the amount of DNA in a sperm cell. In addition, sperm cells are packed with hundreds of mitochondria, each with its own 15 kilobase genome.
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]cosmo7 2
If mitochondrial DNA doesn't carry any data, why does it exist?
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]cosmo7 3
I'm also thinking that the sperm each have half of the same set of chromosomes, so the data is massively duplicated, raid-style.
genitore

(3 risposte)
[–]rohalyzBro 2
ICMP Packets
genitore


[–]archontruth 26
When you say "The Library of Congress" I have to assume that you are referring to their books in digitized form only, because the Audio-Visual Archive of the Library of Congress in Culpeper VA already had several petabytes of digital storage filled when I was interning there in 2007.
genitore
[–]blamer 4
Read failed. Sperm TTL ~1hr.
genitore
[–]Fimbulfamb 3
Also, it would be a serious omission not to mention that most of these books would be practically identical. But the cock's bandwidth is enormous. However, nature can't decode it that fast (although it may depend on your definition of 'decode').
genitore

[–]ricecake 8
If you work backwards from human birthrate, and make conservative estimates the entire way, about fertility rate, copulation rates, vaginal intercourse rates and masturbation rates, you come to the conclusion that humankind can fill a full-size Olympic swimming pool with semen in less than a day.
Just thought I'd shoot that out there.
genitore

[–]Kalium 9
Now, imagine a machine that used your saltshaker to surf the internet.
Improve your surfing with the aid of a woman!
genitore
[–]skbharman 4
So your dick has a higher bandwidth than any internet connection that ever existed
I feel alive again. Thank you!
genitore
[–]jpreall 6
Actually, the haploid genome is ~3B base pairs long, all of which would be present in a single haploid spermatozoan. Each of our diploid somatic cells thus contains ~6B base pairs.
genitore
(5 risposte)
[–]bilabrin 4
"half-minute-at-most"
WTF?!?
If anyone in the history of all mankind has come for 30 seconds....or even 15 , I'd be surprised....and jealous.
genitore
[–]MrDanger 4
You're doing it wrong.
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]bilabrin 2
:O
......I call shenanigans?
genitore

(4 risposte)
[–]haywire 2
Unfortunately the latency is also higher. Not so high for me though :'(
genitore
[–]speek 2
I'm imagining a server farm with all kinds of sock*et*s.
genitore
[–]bobtheki 2
Only catch is that we cannot use it for useful communication because we cannot willfully change the message.
genitore
[–]Iceland_jack 7
You can't.
genitore

[–]SmokeyDBear 2
I'm afraid I live too far from the CO to be able to take advantage of such a connection.
genitore
[–]quirm 3
Isn't it 500 million times the same data ? (If I don't count corrupted data as new data)
I think it's more like a giant RAID system. With just 37,5 MB.
genitore
[–]stumonji 2
see above
genitore

(7 risposte)
[–]oconostota 163
It's like Bill Hicks says..
Women like to brag that they can bring a life into the world... But your average man wipes an entire empire off his belly after spanking it.

[–]Ikindofloveyoubut 121
“This is it, folks.
This is the idea, which has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick. But, for those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, they are not special.
Wait! Hold on, I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, they're NOT.
Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two hundred million sperm? One out of TWO HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're talking one load – connected. Gee, what are the benedetto odds?
Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off of my chest. With a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL!
I've tossed universes, in my underpants, whilst napping. BOOM! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts. UUUUUUNGH ... WHAT'S FOR benedetto BREAKFAST!?"”
genitore
[–]dragonl41 22
I laughed so benedetto hard at that thanks good sir you have brightened my day even after my car went bat shit on me.
genitore
[–]maso1 15
did the cruise control get stuck?
genitore
[–]dragonl41 8
no gas pump i was just finishing
genitore
[–]fodu 10
go on
genitore
[–]dragonl41 15
i cant the gas pump died
genitore
[–]codese38 6
Imagine how big the womb would have to be if the entire load fertilized .
genitore
[–]xTRUMANx 16
Man, that would be an amazing movie/comic.
Maybe, to save the host's life, they all just come out miniature sized. Also, gestation period lasts 9 weeks. Same sized belly after 9 weeks as a regular 9 month pregnant woman but this one has millions of tiny inhabitants about to invade the world.
Also, all the little babies are crazy warriors intent on world domination.
"Aww, look at how cute the little guy is. I just wanna... wait, OH MY GOD! STOP! SOMEBODY HELP! THEY'RE STABBING MY EYES WITH THEIR CUTE LITTLE SWORDS!!!!"
genitore
[–]vanuhitman 14
Somewhere, somehow, this in a manga in Japan...
genitore
[–]agbullet 3
The woman would have to match the count. Probably with ovaries the size of melons.
genitore
[–]otakucode 3
As far as I can tell, most women DO have ovaries the size of melons, at least around here.
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]knightofni451 2
Fun fact: I used to sign my name as "Galactus, eater of worlds" on class sign in sheets.
genitore
[–]deadapostle 9
That's not a fun fact.
genitore
[–]soundacious 3
I'm sure it was fun for him.
genitore
[–]knightofni451 2
Correct, and correct.
genitore
(3 risposte)
[–]oconostota 2
yes!!
genitore

[–]panek 30
Um, if you have to wipe anything off your belly after spanking it you're doing it wrong.
genitore
[–]fodu 38
Right, you should be saving it up in a mason jar.
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore

[–]legomorett 3
Relevant
http://www.oglaf.com/100_eyes2.html
genitore


[–]oconostota 2
He put it a lot better than I did, I just don't remember exactly how.
genitore
[–]BoonTobias 3
I have wiped off entire civilizations into my sock
genitore
[–]frenshy 37
We are geeks.

[–]SansPoint 24 *
Ladies and gentlemen, what you are observing here are magnified examples or facsimiles of human sperm. Generation after generation of these tiny creatures have sacrificed themselves in their persistent, often futile, attempt to transport the basic male genetic code. But where is this information coming from? They have no eyes. No ears. Yet some of them already know that they will be bald. Over half of them will end up as women.
Four hundred million living creatures, all knowing precisely the same thing--carbon copies of each other in a Kamikaze race against the clock. Some of you may be surprised to learn that if a sperm were the size of a salmon it would be swimming its seven-inch journey at 500 miles per hour. If a sperm were the size of a whale, however, it would be traveling at 15,000 miles per hour, or Mach 20. Now imagine, if you will, four hundred million blind and desperate sperm whales departing from the Pacific coast of North America swimming at 15,000 mph and arriving in Japanese coastal waters in just under 45 minutes. How would they be received? Would they realize that they were carrying information, a message? Would there be room for so many millions? Would they know that they had been sent for a purpose?
Watch this monologue performed live by Laurie Anderson.

[–]Adrienne926 10
Perhaps they would be sent for a porpoise instead.
genitore
[–]VaporTrail2112 2
I swear to god, as I was reading this, I heard Carmina Burana pop into my head.
genitore

(4 risposte)
[–]Shambles 148
So are you gonna credit that guy from bash.org or what?

[–]BauerUK 92
<hypnosis> 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
<hypnosis> 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
<hypnosis> 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
<hypnosis> On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
<hypnosis> Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
<hypnosis> (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
<Jck_true> Sweet
<Jck_true> DoS attack!!!
<hypnosis> a bukkake would probably be a DDoS then
<hypnosis> 11 men would give 17 petabytes/sec
Comment: ##programming on FreeNode
http://qdb.us/262095
genitore
(5 risposte)
[–]pragmatick 17
I am pretty sure that guy from bash.org was not the first to think of this.
genitore
[–]reddit_user13 34
No, it's highly redundant. I guess you could call it a panty raid.

[–]sharked 34
1.5 Terabytes = 1 jizzabyte

[–]NiceDay4ASulk 17
1.21 JIZZAWATS
genitore
[–]blue_horse_shoe 7
= 1 ejaculoads
genitore
[–]Hesperus 9
1,500 Terabytes, you mean.
genitore
[–]busted42 3
Or 1.5 petabytes
genitore
[–]drewfer 4
More like one Peterbyte
genitore

[–]carc 3
I came here to make that comment.
genitore

[–]tlutgen 34
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it, Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it

[–]stumonji 21
Bop It! ©
genitore
[–]adamdecaf 7
Twist it!
Wait, maybe that's a bad idea...
genitore

[–]MayaKarin 2
Twist It!
genitore
[–]deadapostle 5
Funny, the first thing I'd have done was unzip it.
genitore
[–]PhilxBefore 4
And definitely not burn it.
genitore
[–]deadapostle 3
I'm not sure if burning it or ripping it is more painful, but I'd imagine that you'd be able to heal/repair a rip more easily than a burn.
genitore
[–]suitedsatire 3
You're my hero.
genitore

[–]Otterpanda 32
So what you're saying is, then next time I ejaculate the RIAA will go after me for distributing 1,587.5 TB of data.

[–]FearlessFreep 29
well, hopefully you own the copyright so they can't do much
genitore
[–]otakucode 17
It's far more likely Monsanto owns it.
Or have you actually been submitting genetic information for patents?
Because THEY have.
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]ratbastid 2
Upvoted because people really need to know that. You don't have any rights to anything medical science extracts from your body.
genitore
[–]rhapsblu 3
Actually, I wouldn't be so sure about that http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_patent
genitore
[–]pillage 2
I knew I should have read the fine print on that contract...
genitore
[–]nutzngum 16
And the porn used to help create that DNA information was a couple of megs...that's some efficient code, I'd say.


[–]jooes 14
That's not true. I just ejaculated on to my hard drive, and now it doesn't work. Thanks a lot, reddit!

[–]TrollsSuck 50 *
Hold on... if the human genome is ~700MB, how comes a sperm cell only contains 37.5MB of data?
Edit: Okay, very funny. But I am asking a serious question here.

[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]annihilist 16
tar.giz more likely
genitore
[–]stumonji 9
and I'm laughing out loud at work... my coworkers think I'm crazy. Thanks!
genitore

[–]declancostello 2
A WINRAR IS YOU!
Mind Blown.
genitore

(3 risposte)
[–]xyroclast 14
I second this question.
genitore
[–]hertful 12 *
My best guess is that the original "author" of this quote only counted protein-coding sequences (exons) and discarded all introns and intergenic regions as non-informative. That would approximately add up, I think, if he used 1 byte per bp (which would be unthrifty).
genitore
[–]TrollsSuck 8
So the 37.5MB figure is wrong? That would explain it.
genitore
[–]hertful 6
Most likely, yes.
genitore

[–][deleted] 33
it's a zipped file!
genitore
[–]Ragarnok 6
Actually it IS compressed
genitore
[–]symptomless 3
unusually the unzipping happens before its uploaded.
genitore
[–]longzheng 21
7zip
genitore
[–]jmschrad 2
I think it is meant to be 375mb, just put the decimal int he wrong spot?
genitore
[–]tuoder 2
The genome carries every possible gene. A sperm carries half of one possible combination.
Think of it way, the genome is an unabridged dictionary, and a sperm is a predicate in search of a subject.
genitore
[–]Rhyono 3
how comes
I see what you did there.
genitore

[–]psyno 2 punti 1 anno fa
I know this is three weeks late but, dammit, someone is wrong on the internet.
The answer is that 37.5 MB is woefully wrong. Here's my best guess at how it was arrived at.
The "human genome" is roughly 3 billion base pairs. [True.]
Sperm [which are haploid cells] have "half" the genetic information of "diploid" cells. [Dubious in this context.]
Therefore the genetic material in sperm is 1.5 billion base pairs long. [Wrong.]
We can consider the genome to be a string over the alphabet {A, C, G, T} which we can encode in two bits each. 4 two-bit pairs fit in an 8-bit byte. [Not wrong per se, but bytes are obviously not a unit of storage in cells.]
1.5e9 base pairs / 4 base pairs/byte = 3.75e8 byte = 375 megabytes (not mebibytes).
Throw in a factor-of-ten error and you have 37.5 megabytes.
The two errors are a misunderstanding of the nature of haploid vs diploid cells and an obvious arithmetic error. In fact diploid cells have two "copies" (they aren't identical). In the language of the original formulator, this should have been called roughly 6.4 billion base pairs so that single-copy haploid cells (like sperm) would have 3.2 billion base pairs of material. 3.2 billion base pairs / 4 base pairs/byte = 800 megabytes (not mebibytes).
So 800 MB would have been a much better guess (than 37.5) at how much "DNA information" is carried in a single sperm.
However, this is still wrong. Most obviously, it doesn't consider epigenetic modifications such as cystosine methylation.
genitore
[–]jpreall 2
Text strings are very compressible data. It doesn't take 6 gigabits to represent the genome digitally when you use compression.
genitore
[–]TrollsSuck 6
Are you saying the actual amount of data contained within the DNA is only ~37MB and it just takes ~700MB to represent it? I don't think that is correct. I was under the impression that it is ~700MB of actual data.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_geno ... on_content
genitore
(4 risposte)
(3 risposte)
[–]Ti7aNiC 12
I love you all. Don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life.

[–]steevowe 11
Unless you zip it. My guess would be 10Tb? Can someone try this please. I'll donate the raw data.

[–]Yeugwo 8
Ill bring the ziplock bag
genitore
[–]dragonl41 7
what is he a horse, Jesus Christ man
genitore
[–]PhilxBefore 7
You're right, better get the garbage bags.
genitore
[–]300zxkyle 2
I almost choked on my gum.
genitore

[–]Soulfly37 41
My new pickup line will be
Baby, how would you like me to pump you full of information

[–]slkjfdhsd 49
weird thing is that you use trojans to keep viruses out...
you know std out
genitore
[–]BossOfTheGame 2
I just use printf... wait, that wasn't a joke.
genitore

[–]bryanz 23
"I've got a firewall, you asshole."
genitore
[–]pweet 38
My wife's firewall went on-line right after we got married.
genitore
[–]pillage 12
maybe you should try to connect to a different server.
genitore
[–]doctorsound 3
I'm pretty sure his DNS server isn't going to let him do that...
genitore
(3 risposte)
[–]pweet 9
Her reply: Sorry - garbage in, garbage out.
genitore
[–]Soulfly37 23
as long as i can put the garbage in, i don't care what happens next
genitore

[–]willp 12
1.5875 petabytes... come on people, simplify.

[–]pweet 17
Would a wet dream be considered an unexpected loss of data?

[–]otakucode 3
Absolutely. A wet dream is a sign of extreme neglect of ones own data-transmission needs... if they're young, it shows extreme neglect on the part of parents who need to teach the kid about his bandwidth.
genitore

[–]vikramhaer 9
Source?

[–]Lighioana 22
"One million bases (called a megabase and abbreviated Mb) of DNA sequence data is roughly equivalent to 1 megabyte of computer data storage space. Since the human genome is 3 billion base pairs long, 3 gigabytes of computer data storage space are needed to store the entire genome. "
Source: http://genomics.xprize.org/archon-x-pri ... -questions
Do the math.
genitore
[–]clumma 3 *
Weird FAQ answer. Only 2 bits per base pair are needed, not 8, so it's 750MB assuming their 3B base pairs figure is correct. That's before compression. So 375MB for sperm, not 37.5MB. The number of base pairs does differ depending on whether it's going to be a boy or girl, since the Y chromosome is smaller than the X (which is how centrifugal sperm sorting works)... but not by that much.
The only thing I can think is that bioinformaticists don't use bit-level datatypes to store genetic data, so they wind up wasting 6 bits in every byte. That would be retarded, but I wouldn't put it past bioinformaticists.
genitore
[–]deadapostle 2
It's funny how the guy who says "I just googled it. Nothing" has more votes than the guy with the answer.
genitore
[–]agbullet 4
Sauce?
FTFY.
genitore
[–]MayaKarin 2
Baby Batter?
genitore

[–]horriblemonkey 4
Testicles
genitore
[–]slkjfdhsd 2
bash.org... so totally legit
genitore
[–]yosef-martin
I just googled it. Nothing
genitore

[–]mombakkie 25
Showed this to her and she said, "oh that explains why it tastes so salty"

[–][deleted] 11
information is salty?
genitore
[–]mombakkie 20
useless information is salty.
genitore
[–]mack_a 38
Yes, yes it is.
"In cryptography, a salt comprises random bits that are used as one of the inputs to a key derivation function. The other input is usually a password or passphrase. The output of the key derivation function is stored as the encrypted version of the password. A salt can also be used as a part of a key in a cipher or other cryptographic algorithm. The key derivation function typically uses a cryptographic hash function. Sometimes the initialization vector, a previously-generated value, is used as the salt."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salting_&#40;cryptography&#41;
genitore
[–]mombakkie 7
l am in awe, l suppose l should get back to playing Space invaders on my twenty year old Atari,- there l am King.
genitore
[–]danltn 13
Is your 'I' key broken?
genitore
[–]mombakkie 14
Sometimes I use l and often use both, l am an old typist, way back in the 60s I had a defective shift key on my Remington and got into the habit, very few people noticed then but unfortunately Redditors seem to have keen eyes and regularly point this out to me. As well as that l bang the keyboard so hard that I wake up the dog.
genitore
[–][deleted] 5
You may be weird, but in an interesting way. Keep it up.
genitore
[–]mombakkie 3
l will hold onto the interesting bit, only my grand-kids are allowed to call me weird.- the result of an interestingly weird life.
genitore

[–]otakucode 3
You're weird.
genitore


[–]DontNeglectTheBalls 7
Actually, it's more like a redundant transfer of 37.5 MB, with an unusually high number of errors in the data stream.
Data stream, heh.

[–]xamor 8 *
Sadly, my wife has capped my downloads at 100GB per month, which is about what dribbles out before I have to pull out. She has also complained about my superfast download speed interfering with her uploads.

[–]doctorsound 2
I'm sure she has to reboot every month or so, and there's some server downtime there.
genitore
[–][deleted] 14 *
Just to show you how inefficient the female body is in the best of conditions:
At the fastest, an egg can be fertilized in around 15 minutes.
Since it can only take one packet every 10 or so months (only one sperm gets to the egg, all others are redundant).
This translates in a download capacity of about 0.7 Bites per second (in a 10 month period of course).
As Moeri has already calculated, the average male here can upload at around 332TB/s.
Where it would get interesting is the comparison of processing speeds of both genders.

[–]EtherCJ 5
Men can burst upload at 332TB/s but can't sustain that speed. Thank god.
genitore
[–]LordZer 3
Best response to anything ever.
genitore

[–]ateryx 2
there is a bottleneck... somewhere.
genitore
[–]pweet 12
That makes Peter North a one man data center.

[–]epicrdr 13
That makes a gangbang almost the female version of downloading a torrent file.

[–]deadapostle 12
More like a LAN party, since everyone's swapping files.
genitore
[–][cancellato] 2 anni fa
[deleted]
genitore
[–]deadapostle 2
You might be right in theory, but in practice, you're still getting another man's spooge on your dick.
genitore
[–]telomerase 5
The haploid human genome is 3 billion base pairs, not 37.5 million. This makes for around 3GB per sperm.

(3 risposte)
[–]FizzBitch 7
Well there is alot of redundancy and repetition in that 1.5K TBs.

[–]polarix 2
= 1.5PB
genitore

[–]draxus99 4
Think of the sheer quantity of data that doesn't end up finding and fertilizing an egg... Man we've got some serious packet loss!!!
Would be fun to see the math there, although we'd have to take a pretty wild guess about quantity of ejaculate that... somehow... misses the target _^


[–]jmschrad 4
A person makes .8 kilograms of feces each day (1), an E. coli cell takes up about 7 x 10 -16 grams (2) and contains about 1 megabyte of information in its genome (6 x 10 ^ 6 base pairs times 2 bits per base pair). In this case, each dump contains ~ 1 x 10 ^ 15 megabytes of information (assuming all the bacteria contain similar information content and mass).
1 dump ~ 100 million petabytes of information.
1.) http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Average_human_feces_per_day 2.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orders_of_ ... &#40;mass&#41;

[–]whiterockbiker 3
tcpdump -nqi fleshlight |grep insert

[–]ukiyo1 3
All that data has to make its way through a series of tubes.

[–]Edman274 5
Right, but what's the latency of the packet? Two minutes? And what's the quality of service like? If only one sperm can impregnate, then the packet loss is like uhh really high

[–]Unidan 3
Man, I keep sending my socks all these data packets, but, luckily, they never ping me back.

[–]eviltommy 5
this makes my girlfriend a bandwidth whore doesn't it?

[–][deleted] 3
Yea, she prefers my OC3 to your T1. ;)
genitore
[–]whasupjohn 4
That's awesome bandwidth for any p2p application.

[–]shadowkeeper 7
And that data originates from my I-pee address.

[–]Tangerous 6
Unfortunately, due to my frequent downloading, my bandwidth cap has reduced my packet transmission to a mere trickle.

[–]kebdraggie 3
That's what I call “Manwidth.”

[–]formode 3
So baby's are like restore cds?

[–]TeraFloppy 3
Gay 69 = Full Duplex!

[–]anonymoustroll 3
That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB
Yes, but the effective error rate is staggeringly high... only a single packet is actually received and you don't get an ACK until 9 months later.

[–]sxreader 3
This is not true. It is still 37.5MB but very redundant.

[–]ascii 2
No, a single sperm only stores half of your DNA. So the entire data load is actually 75 MB.
genitore
[–]caasheew 3
Would that make condoms a firewall?


[–]koolhaus 3
That's numberwang!

[–]djpk19 2
I got that at least
genitore
[–]biggyshorty 3
pics or it didn't happen

[–]dondiego63 3
wow a whole human is encoded in just 37.5 MB. that's some serious compression at work.


[–]blamer 3
Guys, stop bragging about your capacity and throughput - those specs are 95% indistinguishable from what any chimp can achieve using their ancient (admittedly incompatible) protocol.

[–]samfreez 3
Ahh, yes.. the good ole' BNC... Big Nude Chimp connector... Now the mystery of the acronym can finally be revealed.
genitore
[–]tripleg 3
Whomever designed this process was totally incompetent.

[–]BAMFstudio 3
If i have an ipod filled with jizz it's holding more memory than ever. Take that Apple!

[–]syroncoda 3
if only i could store mp3s in my balls....

[–]mrsanchez 3
How many petabytes has your mom eaten this month?


[–]master5hake 3
To find this out they had to unzip

[–]landypro 3
Look what you've done. Now we are going to have to pay bandwidth charges.

[–][deleted] 3
.wad

[–]Rion23 3
Now we can look at shitty electronics and say "Dude, even my balls have more memory than this" and not anger god with lies.

[–]bluepheonixia 3
I AM USB 4.0 BITCHES!!!!

[–]callipygian1 3
i'm getting a firmware update right now!

[–]metrofeed 3
this post wins the internet for today

[–]liamquips 3
Hey honey, want to do an upload?

[–]gclary 3
I would, but you only have a floppy disk.
genitore
[–]bloodmoney 3
I heard that eating lots of pineapple will increase your bandwidth


[–]highlandery 3
No honey, it was just an off site backup for data redundancy. I know the server has a raid array but I was just thinking of data recovery.

[–]realmadrid2727 3
So when is Hollywood going to start selling ultra-high definition movies on jizz media?

[–]DangerB0y 3
I sense David Cronenberg might get some ideas from this.

[–]Rhyono 3
That's 1.55PB.


[–]thearcangel 5
I use best practices by uploading my data to multiple locations.

[–]Jipptomilly 7
Does that mean that bukkake is a DDoS attack?

[–][deleted] 5
Correction: The size of the human genome is 750 megabytes, not 75. Thus, a sperm actually carries 375MB worth of genetic data.
In other words, the actual transfer rate would be one order of magnitude larger.

[–]spacelincoln 3
SIGNIFICANT DIGITS.

[–]dianagram 2
How many MBs of DNA info does an ovum have?

[–]1338h4x 2
This is way old. It at least dates back to 2001 judging by this post.

[–]merk 2
what's really amazing - if that 37.5mb is accurate that means that the blueprints to design a human being are under 80megs.

[–]CaffiendCA 2
That means I've got a lifetime of ~ 6,934,200 TB of transfer. Awesome!

[–]m0dest 2
Does this mean that we all exist out of not more than 37.5 MB in the beginning of our existence? (+ influences of the outside world of course)
Does this mean that we could program artificial intelligence, as smart as humans, with only 37.5 MB of code + the right way to interpret that information + just randomly let it discover the world on its own?
No really, this is a serious question, what do you think?

(3 risposte)
[–]bfaber 2
Your numbers seem off according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_genome.. by a factor of 10 at least.

[–][deleted] 2
Why, that's over a PETER-Byte!

[–]sgtscherer 2
There is no way my girlfriends vag can store ~1.5 petabytes of data(or more depending on the day ;)). If thats true, I'm hooking a USB cable to her ass because I'm down to 3gb of HDD space.


[–]Rivensteel 2
Don't forget the code commenting-- epigenetics further increases the information content and complexity of that information.

[–]zyzzogeton 2
Peter North must be a Petabyte

[–]slow_as_light 2
That means we could increase bandwidth by 4,233,300% by introducing checksums.

[–]SinsToJudge 2
Must remember this when seducing hot chicks who dig maths.

[–]llieaay 2
The data is highly redundant.

[–]2percentright 2
Fun fact: I transmit 0bits of data.

[–]quipitrealgood 2
This is one of the best comment threads I have ever seen.

[–]ainsmart 2
That's only the usable data that's used in the human-building process. There is a near infinite amount of data in every "Transfer" of any kind. When I speak a three second word, there is an infinite amount of information about those particular sound waves, so in a way, ALL DATA TRANSFERS ARE INFINITE IN MAGNITUDE.

[–]tweettweet 2 *
SELLING : ---1.5PB of fresh data, never been transfered or sold anybody else. can provide between 25 and 100 million unique entries every 4 to 6 hours.
If you do it right youll inbox.

[–]gclary 2
And to think, I've let thousands of Terabytes slip right tyhrough my fingers.

[–]delicioso 2
Suddenly this seems relevant.

[–]gapus 2
That total is way too high, at least if you're talking about data (information) in the ejaculate "signal." Majority of the signal is ergodic. (You could say information is what remains after the signal is compressed.) So that may be the capacity of the ejaculate for carrying information, but not the information content.

[–]unkz 2
No. The information in a sperm transmits a random binomial sample of an underlying probability distribution from the original full chromosome. The total amount of actual information asymptotically approaches (using your numbers) 75MB of information, since each additional sperm gives additional support for the calculation of the underlying probability distribution.

[–]luneunion 2
Well so much for serial data transfers… massively parallel seems to be the way to go.
On the other hand, at most 37.5MB actually reaches it's destination, so that's a lot of packet loss.

[–]better4it 2
I love this post and had to comment just to say that this is hilarious! My boyfriend is a software engineer and from this perspective the clarity of why sex is so important/amazing/fun/awesome just got translated into massive amounts of TB's! That is one hell of a data transfer and is likely why he gets so damn excited about it; I thought it was because the sex is "mind blowing" but I might have to make sure the excitement is for me and not the thought of data transfer in TB's!

[–]nevinera 2
That's very redundant data - all of those little buggers carry almost the same information. I'm going to call that the downside of the transport protocol. We're really only getting something like 8Mb/s; USB 2.0 is way better than sex.
Also, the handshake can take nearly 60 seconds in some cases, and has a high failure rate.

[–]FrankBattaglia 2
It's very redundant, though. There may be that many bits, but not that much information.

[–][deleted] 2
Son, that's too much data to transfer. Have you heard of PKZIP?

[–]HotelCoralEssex 2
This means that my old grey gymsock has YOTTABYTES.

[–]horriblemonkey 2
I can tell you right now that it is not USB 2 compatible.

[–]danjayh 2
Alternatively (assuming that an egg has a similar amount of DNA), a human infant can be compressed down to 55MB. Heckuva compression algorithm.

[–]Lojban 2
Well most of Reddit are single mothers, so they have less bandwidth.

[–]BenGreen 2
Not at all. It's massively redundant, so most of the transfer is just to ensure that the signal gets through at all.

[–][deleted] 2
If this is the case, I have a washcloth containing more data than all the worlds most powerful servers combined.

[–]LordZer 2
men are like trojan horses, copy 37.5MB into 1.5PB then with the system in shock we attach on and replicate billions more copies.

[–]splashback 2
pretty sure some decent compression would bring both of those figures down considerably.


[–]80hd 2
data spill!!

[–]mack_a 2
Shouldn't we say that it has space for that amount of data ?
Because each bit of actual information is repeated in many other cells. Each cell carries 1 out of every 2 genes that the man's "main cells" possesses (right?) so you would only actually need 2 sperm cells to carry a complete copy of all the information contained in the man's DNA. If this argument is rejected, then we would have to say that information is created when sperm cells are formed, when reason tells us that we are merely making mixed up copies.

[–]mack_a 2 *
My thoughs above are just... off-hand...
genitore

[–]haesuse 5
Pedobear: I just uploaded one and a half Petabytes of data into you, bitch!

[–]haesuse 22
Pedobytes?
genitore
[–]ElectricCube 3
Nightly backup available. Connection must be made to female port.

[–]tuoder 4 *
This is false. A single sperm may have 37.5MB. If that is true, then there is 75MB in an ejaculation, and a lot of redundancy. Packet loss is a major problem, but I've solved the latency problem for good.

[–][deleted] 2
No, your computation is a long way off the mark. Each sperm represents a different subset of the father's genome. And each load represents a different subset of the set of possible subsets of the genome. That's way more information than 75MB. Your argument is like saying that a computer can only hold one bit of information because each bit is either 0 or 1. It's not the 0 or 1 that is important but which possible combinations of 0 and 1 are available.
genitore
[–]djimbob 4
If I move an mp3 player with 80Gb of music on it one foot, does that represent a data transfer of 80Gb? How is moving sperm different? Unless a child is conceived I don't see where information is being transfered.
And would it more be akin to moving an 80Gb mp3 player filled with only one song copied over and over again, except with a crappy copying program that makes mistakes at a semi-frequent rate. Not impressed.


[–][deleted]
Most of the sperm will contain the same information (albeit mixed into varying configurations), so you actually have a colossal amount of data duplication.
However I do love the analogy because cells are basically just data storage devices.


[–][deleted] 4
Apparently Windows doesn't recognize my cock as a plug n play. How the duck am I supposed to get this cum out of the USB port?

[–]pweet 14
I believe you installed the wrong Windows driver. You need to install the one called "Little Dick".
genitore

[–]Meades_Loves_Memes 3
Guys!!!! I'm about to transfer 1,587 TerraBytes OooooOH Ooh OH! OIH OH! OH O H!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. That's the stuff.

[–]xyroclast 2
So... could sperm be genetically modified to live independently of the body, and customized to carry whatever data we please? It seems that if someone could devise a biological invention that generates sperm, they could actually be used for data transfer. The receiving end could be made of eggs. I'm serious.

[–]rarebit13 2
If I could find some way of genetically engineering my swimmers to replicate the data on my computer, mundane data transfers would become fun again.
"..you want a complete copy of my video collection? No worries, just let me rub one out..."

[–]Shane_MacGowan 2
Total bullshit... information is a message recieved and understood. Obviously the vast majority of sperm don't do anything; there is no data transfer.

[–]w0wzer 2
That's why you shouldn't fap during finals week.

[–]StevenDickson 2
You’ve got a pussy
I have a dick
So, what’s the problem
Let’s download some data


[–]okamiueru 2
I'm pretty sure there is a lot of statistical similarity in sperm... such that one could make a very good encoding. I surmise the 1587 TiB could go down to < 100 MiB.

[–]mattme 2 *
Quoting the result to five significant figures makes you appear scientifically illiterate.

[–]BigCliff 2
Sounds like God is still better at IT than we are.

[–]Kurat 2
What is god?
genitore
[–]bokin 5
you may know him as "root".
genitore

[–]slkjfdhsd 2
holey sheath... now i understand the meaning of: TAR BALLS!

[–]antisthenex 2
Here's the "source" http://qdb.us/262095?%2F

[–][deleted] 2
Could we consider someone like Houston the p0rn star a server, so in those terms she was provided with roughly (very roughly), 1, 031, 875 TB of jizz in one sitting? That's some bandwidth!!!

[–][deleted] 2
AKA - Penis Bandwidth

[–]Achiron 2
so bukake is a biological RAID array?

[–]pweet 2
I just told my girlfriend that if she swallows, it will make her smarter, which explains why she's such a dumb bitch.

[–][deleted] *
Multiple redundant copies of the same 37 MB don't count. It's more of a massive error check on the same packet.

[–]zingbat 6
So does that mean the remaining copies are just spam?
genitore
[–]tacoMaven 7
"sparm"
genitore
[–]narcism 2
Erm, it's not the same 37MB. Your sperm aren't identical.
genitore
(3 risposte)
[–]roriek01 1 punto 1 anno fa*
this should be THE #1 top reddit on this site. everybody upvote the hell out of this. I'll do my part to upload data.

[–]harshad0402
wish we had a port scan tool for servers

[–]gilbert2048
Backup Complete!

[–]modestlycocky
server cluster = circle jerk

[–]Fonnie
The Interwebs, a series of pubes.

[–]Dafuzz
I've seen this years ago on /b/ years ago.

[–]tempest63
So that means how many PF's of data are "wiped clean" every day?

[–]TheBev
How can I store movies and video series in my sperm?

[–]Tsukuyomi
That is a lot of Porn.

[–]torn0035
that is one huge hard drive

[–]JRJenkins
37.5mb of DNA is not a lot of information really. I guess the magic is all in the execution.
And is it really a data transfer? That's a massive loss of data then -- very inefficient. Or there's a real bonus to not having exact copies.

[–]Deusdies
F you, SATA3 and USB3! There's no way you can transfer it faster than I can!

[–]thinkingperson *
At first that sounds really mind boggling ... 1.587.5TB in a normal single ejaculation. Then I thought about how 1 TB hdd is already here and would be the norm by 1 ~ 2 years time, then I start to feel a little sad that man's ejaculation is limited to ONLY 1.5+ TB of data ... and mostly replication of that 37.5MB at that.
EDIT: Make that 1.5k TB or 1.5 PB ... hmmm ... we may start using 1PB thumb drives in 5 ~ 8 years time?

[–]capecodcarl 2
Actually it is saying 1.5+ petabytes per ejaculation, or 1000 times 1.5 TB.
genitore

[–]skrowl *
Do you have a link to where you came up with the 37.5MB number?
Known: The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information A sperm contains half of that, 37.5MB In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms. On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds. A decent US home's internet downstream bandwidth is 10MB/sec Therefore: One ejaculation is approximately 225 million sperm That equates to 8,437.5 TB of genetic data It would take 10,240 days to download that much data at 10MB/sec The bandwidth of a 5 second ejaculation is approximately 1,687.5 TB/sec

[–]eMeMeM
And here I was thinking that the dude who has the time or inclination to contemplate such an equation will most likely NEVER be able to prove it by showing his work....
(Sorry...had to. There are nerds that are bangable, I know. I think I've probably fucked most of them, though...)

[–]bpmf
that's a compression ratio of 42,333 not bad!

[–]cazbot
So for the average redditor, that only a rate of about 13.225 MB/s as measured from the address query to the actual transfer. My browser does better.

[–]itsed
"That number seems low. . normal cell has about 3.5 Gbytes . .. sperm cell would be half that, so still 1.75 Gbytes."
So I am informed. Anyone care to comment?

[–]splinty
This would make a great pick-up line. I'm not sure of the order but I know all of the words are there.

[–][deleted]
And they still charge 30 bucks for an 8 gb Micro SD.

[–]Pxorp
That's what I call High Speed Internet. You only need something to plug in.

[–]kcufsiht
Best. Thread. Ever.

[–]sparkplugg1982
How much RAM does it have?

[–]peppaz
I'm just going to leave my tower on the floor in front of me for now on, at an average of 6TB a day, I should have a Petabyte of extra ram in a few weeks. Is anyone working on 128bit OS that recognizes liquid storage mediums?

[–]SexualHarasmentPanda
Speak for yourself, my sperm is archived.

[–]deyan
However, only one sperm "makes" it, so while technically the total data transfer number is huge, the essence of life is a rather tiny 37.5 MB :)

[–][deleted]
The only problem is that i have been dropping packets ever since the operation.. Lots o throughput .. no data :(

[–]burntbones
Files done

[–]hemmicw9
Where's the t-shirt?

[–]Sidzilla
It is 1.5 peterbites of data.

[–]Postovoy
So... does that mean my semen is more powerful than the computers that put a man on the moon?

[–]UnnamedPlayer
The amount of nerdy sex jokes in this thread is going to break all know human records. And the energy output of the whole process will be used to power everything owned by the Virgin Airlines for the next century.

[–]Balfe
Data transfer. You make it sound so sexy.
"Hey babe, I've got some files I'd like to upload into you!"


[–]HyenaGod
Damn I need more RAM

[–]flkhan
Holymotherofcow! I've been loosing that amount of data every other night for the past 5 years?????

[–]rdsubhas
I hope it's measured in Xs and Ys, instead of 0s and 1s...

[–][deleted] *
I have idea for Johnny Memonic remake... you have 48 hours before your balls explode.

[–][deleted]
So in fact you can encode the entire human design into less than 40 megs ? that is kind of depressing........


[–][deleted] *
Sauce on this?
Very curious, monseigneur.

[–]Shimbouzi
"Im gonna transer data! HNGH!"

[–]hmd27
Who knew sheets had so much memory?

[–]i11uminati
My urethra is so small that it's a serial transfer.

[–]jrod11291
So much data has been lost...

[–][deleted]
but just like networks in south africa, out of that petabyte, only 37.5MB will ever reach its destination

[–][deleted]
Thank you, thank you, thank you for telling me this little tid bit... Regardless of how true it really is, I'll be making jokes and references like "Oh you I think I left a TBe on your couch", or for decades to come.
Cheers!

[–]ajnabee4u
Bazzinga!!!

[–]TheMarshma
Isnt it the same 37.5 mb every time? Or do I need to retake biology?


[–]Enginerd
Well, no, it represents 37.5 MB transmitted a million times. It's all the same information. If each sperm were from a different man maybe, but even then since we're all from the same species there's lots of redundancy.

[–]ironfroggy_
Isn't it kind of cheating to just copy the same file over and over? No cache? Lame!

[–]moonbeaver
If only we could harness this transfer rate and use it in other technologies.

[–]silvery_eagle
http://i.imgur.com/Vxzf7.gif

[–]Tlide
That's just because of poor compression.


[–]macwhyver
Awwwh yeah, Data Transfer.

[–]Daedulun
Surely a contender for quote of the year.

Thunderbolt...

[Uomo_Senza_Sonno]

1500 TB..

Basta fare due conti... se

Un uomo adulto, ad ogni eiaculazione, emette circa dai 1,5 ml ai 6 ml di sperma (circa un cucchiaino), quantità che dipende dall'intervallo di tempo che passa tra un'eiaculazione all'altra, dalla produzione di testosterone e da fattori individuali non del tutto studiati. In genere, più è lungo l'intervallo, più sperma viene prodotto, con una quantità massima cumulabile, generalmente dopo una settimana di astinenza. Variabile è anche il numero di spermatozoi per millilitro di eiaculato, legato soprattutto allo stato di salute del soggetto, tale numero varia da 20 a 200 milioni per millilitro.

e tieni come valore di riferimento quello massimo,

37,5x200000000x6=45000000000MB
Mi sembra più di 1500TB, almeno ad occhio

[Berga95]

Sounds like human reproduction is all UDP.

E quella dei pacchetti persi?

[Andy94]

Masturbation is connecting to the wrong host.
Perhaps more of a loopback device...
Exactly.
No, that's anal sex.
no, anal is ssl
I made a data deposit to a SSL port last night then?
Virtual machines don't count.
So a blow job is what? Port Scan?
ftp
sftp
ftp is putting your finger up the ass

Non ci posso credere...

[farbix89]

[BFC_leojr]

Potete tradurre qualche commento per gli ignoranti come me?

[farbix89]

Credo che il correttore di parolacce bloccherebbe il tutto

[CRYPAX]

[Ale2695]

[farbix89]

3 CSI diversi e un errorino grammaticale,ma la sostanza è quella

Da leggerere dall'alto verso il basso...alla fine esce zenith